Hi Sam,

Thanks for your email. I'm glad Serve The Song is helping you with your songwriting!

Here are my thoughts regarding your song:

1. Overall nice vibe/music and your voice has a nice indie quality about it.
2. Structurally and lyrically the song can be improved.

3. Your chorus needs to come in sooner, and definitely before the bridge, unless you mean the bridge to be a pre-chorus, in which it's fine where it is, but the music should build more so the chorus is the payoff when we hear it. 

4.The verse lyrics are a bit vague so I'm not drawn into the story, and it's told from multiple points of view.

5. Who is telling the story? Is it you speaking to your love who is a stranger now?

6. The first verse seems to ask me (the listener) if I've been holding hands with someone I love. Then the second verse starts telling your story (I think). Because of that I'm not sure the first verse is necessary.
Instead, be specific from the start.

7. Your chorus is good since it's a general summary of the situation.

Here are some ideas to help you beef up your lyrics:

- How are you living two separate lives?
- What happens to cause spite?
- What does monotony look and feel like?
- What does complacency look and feel like?

Remember, your listener wasn't there with you when the situation developed and doesn't have the same memories you do.
Paint a picture for them with specific, emotional details and your lyrics will be much stronger.

Hope that helps!